Things That Make Me Look Like A Fool

Today, as I jumped about in my living room (with disheveled hair, ratty clothes and my glasses on no less) swinging a quilt above my head I realized something really profound…. I look like a complete and utter fool. Then it totally hit me..

This week…

1. I delivered blankets to the NICU and after I left I noticed I had a huge piece of PURPLE salad stuck to my teeth…right in the front. Yes, I talked to people. Yes, NOBODY TOLD ME.

2. I bought eggs at the grocery store and for some reason I thought I could carry Anastasia, two cartons of 20 eggs each and my phone, wallet and car keys. I tried very unsuccessfully to even pick up the eggs and finally had to ask for assistance. EGG ASSISTANCE PEOPLE. The dude asked me where my cart was… as I told him I didn’t need one I realized Anastasia was missing a sock and looked like a hobo. Righteous.

And TODAY my dear sweet precious baby decided IT WAS A GREAT DAY not to nap. My cat got diarrhea and pooped in my bed (twice actually). I had to look up how to spell diarrhea on Google. My husband, on his lunch break, had FINALLY gotten that dear sweet baby to go to sleep and I made a FREAK (I really wanted to write freaken…but some people think that is a bad word.) YAM in the oven and it DRIPPED ONTO THE TIN FOIL which I had so carefully put down to not make a mess and because of this tin foil yam scenario smoke billowed out of my oven into my living room and set off the SMOKE DETECTORS. So I looked the part of the fool and jumped about, hopped on couches, waved (wove?) a quilt above my head all while chanting silently, “Do not wake up. Do not wake up.”

Also, I accidentally washed a box (yes, an entire box) of q-tips this week.

Sob.

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