Marriage Monday: Shut Yo Mouth

102_6041 Ever since I was little, people have told me I talk a lot. In fact, people have told me that I talk too much. In fact, in fact, when I was younger I once taped my own mouth shut because I was told I was talking too much. Remember that, Andrea? Anyway, the truth is, I most days sometimes still need a big fat piece of tape to stick over my mouth. I’ve been reading this book and it has been good for me: The-Power-of-a-Womans-Words-by-Sharon-Jaynes Overall, the book itself is average-ish, but there are quite a few things that have really jumped out at me. It is not a marriage book and speaks to all types of relationships: children (yours and others), marriage, friendships, Christians, the world, God and talks about how to change the way we speak. I finished the chapter on marriage yesterday and went back and started it over. I sometimes need reinforcement. Here was what jumped out at me:

Your husband is not God and you are not the Holy Spirit.

This is not an actual quote from the book, but it sums up what I gleaned from it. Maybe it sums up what God was speaking to me. As women, we often expect our husbands (or if we aren’t married-perhaps a person in a close relationship) to be our God. I don’t think we do it consciously, but we do it nonetheless. We want this person, somebody who has pledged their life to us, to fill that void in our lives. We want that person to conquer the world and do it well. If you are anything like me, you hate to see that person fail or mess up 1. Because you truly love them 2. Because it affects you personally. We want that person to do the right thing, say the right thing, be the right thing. Yet…our husbands (or our people) are not God. They are as much on this journey as we are. Plus, they were never called to be the one to complete us. Valentine’s Day is a bunch of lies, people! Those mugs with “You Complete Me” … don’t buy them! Throw them in the garbage. The only way it is acceptable for you to keep one is if you are talking about coffee. Coffee completes us, people do not. Wait… that’s not right. We are redeemed by Jesus. We are fulfilled in Jesus. We are made whole through Jesus. Jesus is the one who completes us. When we look to anyone else to do this we will be disappointed. Jaynes tells a story in the book about a woman named Jona and Jona said about her husband, “Deep down, I wanted him to be God and to fulfill all my needs. He made a poor God.” How many times do we look to people to be our God? How many times do people fail us? I would venture to say every single time. Likewise, God did not give us the gift of being the Holy Spirit to our men or our people. He gave us his perfect Spirit and he gave our men and our people that same Spirit. HE lives in them. Thus, our nagging, reminding, cajoling is secondary (and probably a whole lot more annoying considering that we are not perfect ourselves) to that of Jesus living in them. When Jesus speaks to them it is for their benefit…if I’m truly honest, when I play Holy Spirit, it is often for my benefit. So what is our job? Love. Encouragement. Help. (I have to do a post sometime on the Hebrew word for “helper” in the book of Genesis. People, this word does not mean “help- go make me a sandwich” it means “help- I’m facing life or death and I need you by my side to do battle with me or I will surely die.”) God has given our men and our people to us as a gift and likewise we are a gift to them. Let us let go of impossible standards this week. Let us simply look to honor, cherish and appreciate those who God has called us to love. Let us entrust them to God to be made complete by Him and in Him and let us me, dear Lord, keep our mouths shut. 😉

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