Marriage Monday: One Hour

Remember, feel free to jump in and answer the question in the comments or on Facebook!

 

If you could bottle up one hour of your marriage to keep as your only memory, what hour would you choose?

 

This is such an interesting and hard question. I asked Kris what his thoughts were and he told me the question stressed him out in so many different ways. So I guess you guys will never get to know his answer. 😉 How do you choose just one hour? Do you choose the hour you said your vows? The best hour of your relationship? The worst? The most fun?

 

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I’ve decided to give some runner-ups and then write about the hour I would choose.

Runner Ups

1. One night, right after we had met but before we started dating, Kris led worship for a group on campus at our seminary. On his way home he called to tell me about it. I told him I didn’t really like talking on the phone so if he wanted to stop by and tell me about it he could, or we could talk later. (Girls, pay attention. I just wanted an excuse to see him. Flirting 101.)  He swung by my house and we ended up sitting in the living room talking for most of the night. At about 5am we decided it would be fun to catch the sunrise so we hopped in his car and drove to Echo mountain (which was about a mile from my house.) We raced up the mountain – and got halfway up before we found a ledge we could sit on. We watched the sun come up over LA, and Kris later said that was the moment he knew he wanted to marry me.

 

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Our first date

 

2. Tuesday. I mean probably not really Tuesday, but Tuesday captures what I want to say. A normal day. A good day. A day when everything was right in the world, no pressing problems, the anticipation of our baby, dinner together, a walk on the dam…the small moments.

 

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3. The day we got Mr. Chuckles…wait, that’s not what this post is about.

 

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meow

4. Kris has this laugh that will always make me laugh. I’m serious. Anytime he does it I will fall to pieces and I can hardly catch my breath. I think the first time he did it was randomly while we were in the car. I seriously almost peed my pants. I laughed for about 5 minutes straight. I wouldn’t need a whole hour of this memory. I could just bottle those 5 minutes and I would be good to go. Side note: the one condition my dad gave Kris when he asked permission to marry me was that he never do that laugh around my parents again. Second side note: I used to have the laugh saved as a special ring tone for Kris on my phone. It didn’t translate to media very well though and every time he would call, it would scare the bajeebees out of me… so I had to change it.

 

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Winner

Without a doubt, if I could only choose one hour, one memory to bottle I would choose the hour Kris and I sat under a tree and renewed our vows. I’ve told this story before, but it was the most defining moment in our marriage for me. You see, we were both operating under the fact that we were tremendous spouses and the other person was failing miserably. We both extended ourselves incredible grace, credit and admiration while we extended a critical spirit towards the other. Yet, we were both unaware we were doing this, and we were unaware the other person was doing the same thing. That is, until we took a marriage quiz and failed every category except one…which we got a “C” on. Call us naive or perhaps normal, but we were both shocked to see how unhappy with each other we both were. “You mean to tell me you feel just as unhappy with me as I am with you… but I’m awesome. I’ve done everything right. I’m the best spouse in the world.  I…I…I.” When the truth came out and we saw the tremendous hole we were digging, we realized something had to change. Basically we had two options at that point: 1. Divorce and be done or 2. change and be better. Truthfully, we discussed both at length. We talked about what our lives would look like if we went our separate ways. We talked about what would need to change if we stayed together. At the end of the day, our commitment to God and one another prevailed, and we chose that no matter what, thick or thin, we were going to make this thing work. We had freely given each other an out, but we both chose to stay. To this day, that day with just Kris and myself, under a tree, in the middle of nowhere sticks out to me more than my wedding day.

 

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What about you? If you had one hour that you could bottle, what would it be?

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