The other night I looked across the dinner table, and I had this thought:
“This is the last time Kris and I are going to eat dinner alone together for possibly the next 30 years.”
Then, because I’m morbid, I thought, “Unless one of us dies or we can’t have any more children or…” but that is just me.
I’m sure Kris thought I was creepin’ because I just kept staring at him between bites of my spaghetti. Bite. Stare. Bite. Stare. I was trying to capture the moment.
Of course, I know it wasn’t really our last supper together just the two of us. In fact, we had dinner together again just last night. But, it started to hit me that “the two of us” is about to end and we are about to become “the three of us.” While I am SO excited for that (please no comments about how much I will love having a baby… I know that), in a way it made me sad. This chapter of our lives is ending, and, to be honest, I know I will miss it, just a little bit.
This is how Kris looked as a 30 year old man. This is who he was before we had kids. This is how we sat at the dinner table, always in the same spots – across from each other. These were the conversations we had – entirely too much about work, but lately about the World Cup. I took in how handsome my husband looked, how all too often I complained about how loudly he chewed (which probably isn’t that loud at all, but, when it is just the two of you, you notice these things), how he had a spot of spaghetti sauce on his face but I didn’t tell him because it was kinda cute. I took in how much I love this man, how thankful I am for the last five-and-a-half-years with him, how much we have grown as a couple and as individuals, how thankful I am for our life together. As I sat and watched him I felt a rush of sadness that one day in 30 years, after our kids are grown and gone, he won’t look like this anymore. We won’t look like this anymore. I will be sitting across the table from an old(er) man, and we will wonder where the time has gone.
Before I burst into tears, which I did, Kris asked me what I was thinking. When I told him, he suggested we take pictures to capture the moment.
Have I mentioned how much I love this man?