Same Team

Marriage Monday

Somehow whenever I start a “Marriage Monday” post, my husband and I end up in an argument. That my friends is called irony. Or maybe we should just call it real life. Or maybe we call it, “Yes, even pastors argue with their spouses from time to time.” Call it whatever and let’s all agree that it is important to talk about marriage.

As Christians, when we enter into marriage, we choose to be on the same team as somebody else. Let’s be honest, that’s a little bit crazy. I knew my husband for 21 months before we got married. After 21 months, I agreed to stand by somebody for better/worse and in sickness/health. I chose to forever live life with another flawed, broken human being…when I myself am a flawed, broken human being. Have we all gone mad?Perhaps we have.

Over the last four years I have realized that this is one of the easiest concepts in marriage to forget. “I am for you.” “I am on your side.” “I am on your team.”

Problems, chores, kids, work, friends, life bubble up to the surface and many couples instead of grabbing each other by the hand and facing head on what is coming their way, turn and face each other. Instead of approaching the coming storm as one, they assign blame to one another for that storm. Let me give you an example. I’ve been watching “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” lately (don’t judge me), and I saw this concept illustrated on one of the episodes.

Brandi shared private information about Adrienne and Paul’s family during a dinner party. So not cool, girl. Once A & P found out, they were livid. Oooo girl, they gonna git you.

original photo found at

Some time goes by and later Adrienne shares with the viewers that the comments Brandi made about her family have really been affecting her marriage with Paul in a negative way. PAUSE.

I get this is just a TV show, but it perfectly highlights how so many couples function. The stuff Brandi shared had nothing to do with A & P’s  marriage. It had nothing to do with them as a couple. Yet, they let the problem get so big and let somebody else upset them so much that they turned inward and began fighting with each other rather than the problem.

Do we need a Biblical example? I think we doooo. How about Adam and Eve.


photo belongs to


First couple out of the gate. First problem they faced as a married couple…eating the fruit. What did they do? They turned on each other. They turned inward and blamed one another rather than standing together before God or facing the serpent as a team.

Men and women have been turning on each other from the very beginning of time. Yet, we are not supposed to be against one another. We are one. Look it up: Gen. 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31. (Yes, I totally Googled this verse.)

Today, my challenge for all married couples is to identify the real problem and ask, “How can we tackle this problem together?” instead of looking at your spouse as the problem and asking “How can I tackle them to make the problem go away?”

Sound off in the comments and let me know, how can you join your spouse’s team this week?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s